Something about the shakes and a chicken

What happens when you consume a glass of milk (with protein powder), a glass of lucozade, 1/2 cup of tomato soup and 2 tablespoons of apple puree? Well, my friends, I'm glad you asked! You get wicked shakes! Yup. I got the shakes really bad yesterday afternoon. It was 4:15pm. I had been working since 8:45am. The only things I had eaten or drunk were the meagre morsels above during 9 1/2 hours. At first, I felt my vision was a little blurred, I felt faint and then the shakes begun. I physically could not stop them. A quick thinking colleague grabbed some chocolate which I sucked the living soul outta! It took every ounce of concentration and might to finish my patient documentation in a legible scrawl. IThe whole experience was actually quite alarming. It's like nothing you've experienced before. You feel so dazed. Unable to think or move. It's a minor version of being comatosed. I felt like I was having an out of body experience of trying to run underwater ... everything just seemed to slow to a crawl. Sooo, kiddies, when eating like a sparrow, have some glucose tablets on hand or eat/drink SOMETHING every hour or two!

I feel fine today. Just ensured I had more goodies with me at work to keep topping up. The funny thing being back at work is that my hunger has returned! Part physical but mostly head hunger, I think! I haven't been feeling that hungry since surgery ... I mean the feeling passes in waves but it's never unbearable. I get back to work and after one measley hour my gut is making enough noise to rival a brass band! It felt like my throat was cut! Of course, when it came time to eat ... I really couldn't eat a lot. Work is associated with eating - there is ALWAYS chocolate, chips, cake, biscuits and other assorted goodies to celebrate birthdays, imminent departures, promotions, marriages, babies, thank you's plus an asortment of other excuses to be able to eat! And while I'm on the subject of food at work, why is it that when people leave hospital they always want to leave massive tins/boxes of chocolates for the staff?! What's that about?!

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I was flicking through the paper this morning on the tube ride to work and lo and behold, there was an ad for gastric banding. It was a kinda sign. An affirmation that I'd done the right thing. (Yeah ... at this point I'm still needing affirmation that I HAVE done the right thing! The positive proof of my decision is still has to be seen in first person) The three women in the ad were posing in that usual poxy, "I've lost a shite load of weight" way (with the dreaded before picture in miniature form) ... I mean, I've never seen people pose like this in real life. But hey, they looked good. The total losses were: 6, 7 & 12 stone. I'd love to know how long it took them to lose the weight and what hurdles and obstacles they encountered. I'm the proverbial curious cat - wish I had the nine lives to match. On the topic of weight loss, I chickened out today and didn't weigh myself. I lay in bed last night thinking "I don't think I've lost much (IF ANY!) weight ... why go embarass and depress myself". It worked. I couldn't bring myself to step on the scales today. I do really need to work on my internal dialogue .. I think it's been partly to blame for my past weight loss failures because I believe it. Sigh. I'm going to stride down to Boot's tomorrow and own that scale, dammit!