Purge (not the eating disorder)

78-79kgs = ‘The Massive Purge’. Yep. It’s at this weight I will purge my drawers, cupboards and cabinets of shite. All the stuff that doesn’t fit, the ghastly looking items I once bought thinking they made me look dead-sexy (ahem, at 95kg?!), the thread bare garments I am currently clinging to (as these are the only things that fit at present), the old handbags which have seen better days, the shoes, the holey underwear, the bras with the escaping underwires, the crappy, crusty makeup, the pills & the potions I thought would cure my obesity (cringe). I realize it must seem a strange point at which to do this purge, but for me it will be a momentous occasion when I reach this weight. I have not seen this weight since I was 14. That is half my life ago! My weight has been up and down most of my adult life. I hate to admit this but the heaviest I’ve been according to a secretly squirreled weight watcher weight record book is 99.9kg. I have mainly fluctuated between 80 & 88kgs. In all the time I’ve been on this lard busting wagon, I have never been able to crack the 80kg mark. This may partly be a psychological mind block and possibly a set weight that my body has established. To finally move out of the 80s will be terribly significant. A perfect reason to celebrate and clean my life of the clutter.

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I’m disappointed in myself today. I have eaten a little too much chocolate. I cannot let this become a habit. The surgeon indicated to me during my pre-op consultation, that he was concerned about my perchant for chocolate; that this could become quite a stumbling block to my weight loss. He’s absolutely right. It’s empty calories. It’s not going to hang around in my pouch very long to make me feel full. Prior to my appetite returning, I didn’t have any desire to eat chocolate. I’m hoping after my fill next Saturday that I’m not going to feel as hungry as often, hence not as likely to dive for a bar of chocolate as a stop gap between meals. I must learn some serious self-control. For the money I spent on this bloody band, I can hardly justify failing this venture!