Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Gawd, I'm jumpy

Tuesday morning and the Tube was justing pulling into the platform as I bounded down the stairs of my local train station. I scrambled inside the already packed train. All the while, a little voice inside my head said, "Oi! Just wait for the next one, it's only two minutes behind!". But of course I ignored it. I wished I had of waited. I ended up travelling to work holding my breath. Not because of some offending odour but rather from fear. I spied an empty spot on the padded leaning bench as I stepped onto the train. Just as I settled into my primo position, I noticed that to my left was a rather over stuffed backpack. No one appeared to own the bloody thing. I looked around rather anxiously. At the next tube stop, a text message alert from someone's mobile phone pierced the quiet of the carriage. I must admit, I think I must've shed my entire skin covering like a snake! I few people disembarked. I glanced over as the train partly emptied. Sitting diagonally across from me were two men of middle eastern origin (who I had been unable to see previously in the crowded train). Just as the train doors shut, one of the men received yet another text. I am ashamed to admit it but I was dead sure this pair were going to blow us up on the way to work. I rode the next two stops with feelings of dread clawing at my chest, all the while thinking "I should've just bloody waited". I feel terrible that because of the men's ethnic origins and a few, seemingly innocuous events, I would immediately jump to the conclusion that they plan to harm a train laiden with commuters. It makes me sick. I lived amongst these people in the Middle East (just last year) for almost two years of my life. I was rarely scared when I lived there. I have never been one to have any racial prejudices or disciminatory feelings towards other people, cultures or religions ... but today, I was terrified. It ended up that these two men got off at my stop ... and as I walked down the main road behind them, I realised they were probably relatives of one of the patients at the hospital (as we have a large middle eastern patient population). What is this world coming to! Gawd, silly little things like that make me jumpy!

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Today's project at work was nutting out a marketing strategy to sell therapy services to other hospitals. I have no degree in business management or marketing but I think I've compiled a pretty good muli-tiered plan. After 7 1/2 hours of sitting at a desk and growing square eyes from staring at a computer screen (did your mum tell you that if you sat in front of the tv too long?! What a crock! LOL!) - which I am completely unaccustomed to in my particular profession - I was actually looking forward to going to gym to bust some funky moves.

Once again, I did my thang on both cross trainers for a total of 30 minutes (burning 380 calories today! Woohoo!). 30 minutes is pitiful in comparison to my workouts pre-surgery but I'm figuring on the gently, gently approach after being AWOL for almost 6 weeks!

Emerging from the gym with my work out gear still sticking to me, I figured I'd grab a little sushi for dinner. I really didn't enjoy it. I could eat it. I could swallow the salmon sashimi without any incident. But I just didn't enjoy it. I use to love sushi. I hope I get that loving feeling back. I'm sure my boy won't mind if I don't (he's not a fan of the stuff)! LOL!

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