No pain, no gain?!

*mooches in looking slightly worse for wear* I would’ve written sooner but my plans went a little pear shaped.

Wednesday evening I ended up at the pub with people from work to celebrate my colleague’s impending nuptials. I’m not a drinker at the best of times (at the worst, I drink water spritzers) but I particularly hate going for drinks after work during the week. I feel like a cess pool sitting there in clothes I’ve worn all day in germ infested hospitals. And besides, I just hate the pub scene. The smoke, the smell and the amount of bodies jammed into one exceptionally small space. Yuck. And there is undoubtedly a finite period whereby you can drink water spritzers before someone begins whingeing and applying the pressure for you to join them in a tipple (pray tell, how does my not drinking affect you, you knob?!). I had to stay long enough to be polite but not long enough for my lack of enthusiasm to become apparent. I could think of a million different places I would rather have been. At the gym. On the phone talking to my boy. Don't get me wrong, I would’ve enjoyed going out to dinner and having a natter to my mates there, I just sooo hate standing around in pubs. It's a perfectly pointless excercise as far as I'm concerned. By the time I got home, I felt so wiped out that I had a cat nap. An hour and a half later the shrill of the phone startled me awake. *Smiles impishly* It was my boy! The night was well and truly over by the time we finished talking. No time for blogging, baby! I needed beauty sleep!

After work yesterday, I hit the gym (460 calories in 40 mins). Dawdling out of the gym, I mentally went through the contents of my fridge to determine what could I throw together for dinner. 2 eggs, coconut yoghurt, vegetables and a moldy packet of cheese. Hmmm. A quick visit to the grocery store was in order. I stood there in the meat section trying to decide what to have for dinner. Something high in protein, requiring zero energy and time to make. I grabbed a packet of chilli con carne mix. Chilli con carne with some light sour cream. Eeeexcellent! I happened to pass by the pork section on my way to the check out. I spied some lean pork medallions. I smiled to myself and thought, “Even easier than chilli! Throw a pork medallion on the George F*rman grill and steam some vegetables all while I’m having a shower!”. Perfect. By the time I got home I was starving. I put dinner on straight away … and couldn’t be bothered with the shower, I needed food! 10 minutes later, I sat down to pork with apple sauce and steamed vegetables. I got three bites into the meal (mainly the pork) when I got this gawd-awful-I’m-seriously-going-to-die pain. My past experience has been that when I eat something that doesn't agree, I experience discomfort but for no longer than a minute or two. This pain lasted 5 HOURS and 45 minutes. Most of that time I sat/stood/leaned in the shower with hot water blasting over me. I spat gobfuls of slime onto the shower floor. The stuff was even coming out my nose. Waves of severe chest pain kept hitting me with keen regularity. It felt like someone had a pick axe in my chest and would attempt to rearrange it whenever I thought the worst of the pain was over. I cried. I partially vomited. I clutched at my chest. At times, I could barely breathe. Oh, my gawd .. I’ve heard of the saying “no pain, no gain” but this pain had to be a joke. After what felt like an eternity, the pain suddenly dissipated. It left me shaking and hideously unco-ordinated. I had blood shot eyes. My neck and entire skin covering was bright red (from the scalding hot water I suspect!). I was exhausted. I made a frantic call to the company representative (the lovely chap I dealth with to organise my op) to check if what I'd just experienced was normal and should I be worried about having possibly dislodged the band. I was reassured that everything was okay and yes, it was normal as you learn to adjust to eating with the band. He suspected I had either eaten too fast or had too larger mouthfuls. I swear to God, I will never do that again. It was honestly like birthing a baby through my oesophagus! Naturally, after this harrowing event, all I could think about was studying the back of my eyelids. I poured myself into bed without further ado.

I feel a little worse for wear today. Quite tired and sapped of my usual energy. I suspect I might be in bed before the sun sets today! LOL! I'm still alive ... a little anxious about attempting to eat solid food again. I'll do it - just maybe not in a screaming hurry!