What a fantastic day! A couple of friends and I went to the Notting Hill Carnival to a laugh. It was awesome if not a touch bizarre! Uber loud music pumped from the truck floats. Whistles were blowing. Horns honking. People were dancing in the street. Every sensation was accosted. Sight. Sound. Smell. Touch. The crowds were as thick as thieves. The variety of people was vast – a real mixed bag! We hung over the barricades to watch the first part of the parade and then made our way through the throng of people to investigate what else was happening. We spotted a huge outdoor sound system set up – a disco in the street. It rocked! Dancing in the middle of the street surrounded by happy strangers on a warm sunny English day (yes – it was actually sunny in England?! LOL!). There were Caribbean food stalls on every street – people were even selling BBQ from their front stoop & letting you use their loo for a quid! I had such a blast! I would’ve stayed much longer except I really needed to eat. Despite there being food everywhere, most of it was stuff that doesn’t agree with me. To make matters a little more complicated, I have to sit down to eat and take my time (I can’t walk around mindlessly stuffing my face like the old days anymore!) – both of which were impossible to do at the Carnival!
My left knee ached a little by the time I got home. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I climbed up & down dale, elbowed through throngs, hammered up and down stairs or that I walked from SW to NW London today!
****
I knocked up a Thai green prawn curry (no rice!) for dinner which went down without an incident (thank God for small mercies!). I remembered to take my time, chewed thoroughly and took small bites! Maybe I will get the hang of this band thing. *Fingers crossed*
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Purge (not the eating disorder)
78-79kgs = ‘The Massive Purge’. Yep. It’s at this weight I will purge my drawers, cupboards and cabinets of shite. All the stuff that doesn’t fit, the ghastly looking items I once bought thinking they made me look dead-sexy (ahem, at 95kg?!), the thread bare garments I am currently clinging to (as these are the only things that fit at present), the old handbags which have seen better days, the shoes, the holey underwear, the bras with the escaping underwires, the crappy, crusty makeup, the pills & the potions I thought would cure my obesity (cringe). I realize it must seem a strange point at which to do this purge, but for me it will be a momentous occasion when I reach this weight. I have not seen this weight since I was 14. That is half my life ago! My weight has been up and down most of my adult life. I hate to admit this but the heaviest I’ve been according to a secretly squirreled weight watcher weight record book is 99.9kg. I have mainly fluctuated between 80 & 88kgs. In all the time I’ve been on this lard busting wagon, I have never been able to crack the 80kg mark. This may partly be a psychological mind block and possibly a set weight that my body has established. To finally move out of the 80s will be terribly significant. A perfect reason to celebrate and clean my life of the clutter.
****
I’m disappointed in myself today. I have eaten a little too much chocolate. I cannot let this become a habit. The surgeon indicated to me during my pre-op consultation, that he was concerned about my perchant for chocolate; that this could become quite a stumbling block to my weight loss. He’s absolutely right. It’s empty calories. It’s not going to hang around in my pouch very long to make me feel full. Prior to my appetite returning, I didn’t have any desire to eat chocolate. I’m hoping after my fill next Saturday that I’m not going to feel as hungry as often, hence not as likely to dive for a bar of chocolate as a stop gap between meals. I must learn some serious self-control. For the money I spent on this bloody band, I can hardly justify failing this venture!
****
I’m disappointed in myself today. I have eaten a little too much chocolate. I cannot let this become a habit. The surgeon indicated to me during my pre-op consultation, that he was concerned about my perchant for chocolate; that this could become quite a stumbling block to my weight loss. He’s absolutely right. It’s empty calories. It’s not going to hang around in my pouch very long to make me feel full. Prior to my appetite returning, I didn’t have any desire to eat chocolate. I’m hoping after my fill next Saturday that I’m not going to feel as hungry as often, hence not as likely to dive for a bar of chocolate as a stop gap between meals. I must learn some serious self-control. For the money I spent on this bloody band, I can hardly justify failing this venture!
Friday, August 25, 2006
No pain, no gain?!
*mooches in looking slightly worse for wear* I would’ve written sooner but my plans went a little pear shaped.
Wednesday evening I ended up at the pub with people from work to celebrate my colleague’s impending nuptials. I’m not a drinker at the best of times (at the worst, I drink water spritzers) but I particularly hate going for drinks after work during the week. I feel like a cess pool sitting there in clothes I’ve worn all day in germ infested hospitals. And besides, I just hate the pub scene. The smoke, the smell and the amount of bodies jammed into one exceptionally small space. Yuck. And there is undoubtedly a finite period whereby you can drink water spritzers before someone begins whingeing and applying the pressure for you to join them in a tipple (pray tell, how does my not drinking affect you, you knob?!). I had to stay long enough to be polite but not long enough for my lack of enthusiasm to become apparent. I could think of a million different places I would rather have been. At the gym. On the phone talking to my boy. Don't get me wrong, I would’ve enjoyed going out to dinner and having a natter to my mates there, I just sooo hate standing around in pubs. It's a perfectly pointless excercise as far as I'm concerned. By the time I got home, I felt so wiped out that I had a cat nap. An hour and a half later the shrill of the phone startled me awake. *Smiles impishly* It was my boy! The night was well and truly over by the time we finished talking. No time for blogging, baby! I needed beauty sleep!
After work yesterday, I hit the gym (460 calories in 40 mins). Dawdling out of the gym, I mentally went through the contents of my fridge to determine what could I throw together for dinner. 2 eggs, coconut yoghurt, vegetables and a moldy packet of cheese. Hmmm. A quick visit to the grocery store was in order. I stood there in the meat section trying to decide what to have for dinner. Something high in protein, requiring zero energy and time to make. I grabbed a packet of chilli con carne mix. Chilli con carne with some light sour cream. Eeeexcellent! I happened to pass by the pork section on my way to the check out. I spied some lean pork medallions. I smiled to myself and thought, “Even easier than chilli! Throw a pork medallion on the George F*rman grill and steam some vegetables all while I’m having a shower!”. Perfect. By the time I got home I was starving. I put dinner on straight away … and couldn’t be bothered with the shower, I needed food! 10 minutes later, I sat down to pork with apple sauce and steamed vegetables. I got three bites into the meal (mainly the pork) when I got this gawd-awful-I’m-seriously-going-to-die pain. My past experience has been that when I eat something that doesn't agree, I experience discomfort but for no longer than a minute or two. This pain lasted 5 HOURS and 45 minutes. Most of that time I sat/stood/leaned in the shower with hot water blasting over me. I spat gobfuls of slime onto the shower floor. The stuff was even coming out my nose. Waves of severe chest pain kept hitting me with keen regularity. It felt like someone had a pick axe in my chest and would attempt to rearrange it whenever I thought the worst of the pain was over. I cried. I partially vomited. I clutched at my chest. At times, I could barely breathe. Oh, my gawd .. I’ve heard of the saying “no pain, no gain” but this pain had to be a joke. After what felt like an eternity, the pain suddenly dissipated. It left me shaking and hideously unco-ordinated. I had blood shot eyes. My neck and entire skin covering was bright red (from the scalding hot water I suspect!). I was exhausted. I made a frantic call to the company representative (the lovely chap I dealth with to organise my op) to check if what I'd just experienced was normal and should I be worried about having possibly dislodged the band. I was reassured that everything was okay and yes, it was normal as you learn to adjust to eating with the band. He suspected I had either eaten too fast or had too larger mouthfuls. I swear to God, I will never do that again. It was honestly like birthing a baby through my oesophagus! Naturally, after this harrowing event, all I could think about was studying the back of my eyelids. I poured myself into bed without further ado.
I feel a little worse for wear today. Quite tired and sapped of my usual energy. I suspect I might be in bed before the sun sets today! LOL! I'm still alive ... a little anxious about attempting to eat solid food again. I'll do it - just maybe not in a screaming hurry!
Wednesday evening I ended up at the pub with people from work to celebrate my colleague’s impending nuptials. I’m not a drinker at the best of times (at the worst, I drink water spritzers) but I particularly hate going for drinks after work during the week. I feel like a cess pool sitting there in clothes I’ve worn all day in germ infested hospitals. And besides, I just hate the pub scene. The smoke, the smell and the amount of bodies jammed into one exceptionally small space. Yuck. And there is undoubtedly a finite period whereby you can drink water spritzers before someone begins whingeing and applying the pressure for you to join them in a tipple (pray tell, how does my not drinking affect you, you knob?!). I had to stay long enough to be polite but not long enough for my lack of enthusiasm to become apparent. I could think of a million different places I would rather have been. At the gym. On the phone talking to my boy. Don't get me wrong, I would’ve enjoyed going out to dinner and having a natter to my mates there, I just sooo hate standing around in pubs. It's a perfectly pointless excercise as far as I'm concerned. By the time I got home, I felt so wiped out that I had a cat nap. An hour and a half later the shrill of the phone startled me awake. *Smiles impishly* It was my boy! The night was well and truly over by the time we finished talking. No time for blogging, baby! I needed beauty sleep!
After work yesterday, I hit the gym (460 calories in 40 mins). Dawdling out of the gym, I mentally went through the contents of my fridge to determine what could I throw together for dinner. 2 eggs, coconut yoghurt, vegetables and a moldy packet of cheese. Hmmm. A quick visit to the grocery store was in order. I stood there in the meat section trying to decide what to have for dinner. Something high in protein, requiring zero energy and time to make. I grabbed a packet of chilli con carne mix. Chilli con carne with some light sour cream. Eeeexcellent! I happened to pass by the pork section on my way to the check out. I spied some lean pork medallions. I smiled to myself and thought, “Even easier than chilli! Throw a pork medallion on the George F*rman grill and steam some vegetables all while I’m having a shower!”. Perfect. By the time I got home I was starving. I put dinner on straight away … and couldn’t be bothered with the shower, I needed food! 10 minutes later, I sat down to pork with apple sauce and steamed vegetables. I got three bites into the meal (mainly the pork) when I got this gawd-awful-I’m-seriously-going-to-die pain. My past experience has been that when I eat something that doesn't agree, I experience discomfort but for no longer than a minute or two. This pain lasted 5 HOURS and 45 minutes. Most of that time I sat/stood/leaned in the shower with hot water blasting over me. I spat gobfuls of slime onto the shower floor. The stuff was even coming out my nose. Waves of severe chest pain kept hitting me with keen regularity. It felt like someone had a pick axe in my chest and would attempt to rearrange it whenever I thought the worst of the pain was over. I cried. I partially vomited. I clutched at my chest. At times, I could barely breathe. Oh, my gawd .. I’ve heard of the saying “no pain, no gain” but this pain had to be a joke. After what felt like an eternity, the pain suddenly dissipated. It left me shaking and hideously unco-ordinated. I had blood shot eyes. My neck and entire skin covering was bright red (from the scalding hot water I suspect!). I was exhausted. I made a frantic call to the company representative (the lovely chap I dealth with to organise my op) to check if what I'd just experienced was normal and should I be worried about having possibly dislodged the band. I was reassured that everything was okay and yes, it was normal as you learn to adjust to eating with the band. He suspected I had either eaten too fast or had too larger mouthfuls. I swear to God, I will never do that again. It was honestly like birthing a baby through my oesophagus! Naturally, after this harrowing event, all I could think about was studying the back of my eyelids. I poured myself into bed without further ado.
I feel a little worse for wear today. Quite tired and sapped of my usual energy. I suspect I might be in bed before the sun sets today! LOL! I'm still alive ... a little anxious about attempting to eat solid food again. I'll do it - just maybe not in a screaming hurry!
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Gawd, I'm jumpy
Tuesday morning and the Tube was justing pulling into the platform as I bounded down the stairs of my local train station. I scrambled inside the already packed train. All the while, a little voice inside my head said, "Oi! Just wait for the next one, it's only two minutes behind!". But of course I ignored it. I wished I had of waited. I ended up travelling to work holding my breath. Not because of some offending odour but rather from fear. I spied an empty spot on the padded leaning bench as I stepped onto the train. Just as I settled into my primo position, I noticed that to my left was a rather over stuffed backpack. No one appeared to own the bloody thing. I looked around rather anxiously. At the next tube stop, a text message alert from someone's mobile phone pierced the quiet of the carriage. I must admit, I think I must've shed my entire skin covering like a snake! I few people disembarked. I glanced over as the train partly emptied. Sitting diagonally across from me were two men of middle eastern origin (who I had been unable to see previously in the crowded train). Just as the train doors shut, one of the men received yet another text. I am ashamed to admit it but I was dead sure this pair were going to blow us up on the way to work. I rode the next two stops with feelings of dread clawing at my chest, all the while thinking "I should've just bloody waited". I feel terrible that because of the men's ethnic origins and a few, seemingly innocuous events, I would immediately jump to the conclusion that they plan to harm a train laiden with commuters. It makes me sick. I lived amongst these people in the Middle East (just last year) for almost two years of my life. I was rarely scared when I lived there. I have never been one to have any racial prejudices or disciminatory feelings towards other people, cultures or religions ... but today, I was terrified. It ended up that these two men got off at my stop ... and as I walked down the main road behind them, I realised they were probably relatives of one of the patients at the hospital (as we have a large middle eastern patient population). What is this world coming to! Gawd, silly little things like that make me jumpy!
****
Today's project at work was nutting out a marketing strategy to sell therapy services to other hospitals. I have no degree in business management or marketing but I think I've compiled a pretty good muli-tiered plan. After 7 1/2 hours of sitting at a desk and growing square eyes from staring at a computer screen (did your mum tell you that if you sat in front of the tv too long?! What a crock! LOL!) - which I am completely unaccustomed to in my particular profession - I was actually looking forward to going to gym to bust some funky moves.
Once again, I did my thang on both cross trainers for a total of 30 minutes (burning 380 calories today! Woohoo!). 30 minutes is pitiful in comparison to my workouts pre-surgery but I'm figuring on the gently, gently approach after being AWOL for almost 6 weeks!
Emerging from the gym with my work out gear still sticking to me, I figured I'd grab a little sushi for dinner. I really didn't enjoy it. I could eat it. I could swallow the salmon sashimi without any incident. But I just didn't enjoy it. I use to love sushi. I hope I get that loving feeling back. I'm sure my boy won't mind if I don't (he's not a fan of the stuff)! LOL!
****
Today's project at work was nutting out a marketing strategy to sell therapy services to other hospitals. I have no degree in business management or marketing but I think I've compiled a pretty good muli-tiered plan. After 7 1/2 hours of sitting at a desk and growing square eyes from staring at a computer screen (did your mum tell you that if you sat in front of the tv too long?! What a crock! LOL!) - which I am completely unaccustomed to in my particular profession - I was actually looking forward to going to gym to bust some funky moves.
Once again, I did my thang on both cross trainers for a total of 30 minutes (burning 380 calories today! Woohoo!). 30 minutes is pitiful in comparison to my workouts pre-surgery but I'm figuring on the gently, gently approach after being AWOL for almost 6 weeks!
Emerging from the gym with my work out gear still sticking to me, I figured I'd grab a little sushi for dinner. I really didn't enjoy it. I could eat it. I could swallow the salmon sashimi without any incident. But I just didn't enjoy it. I use to love sushi. I hope I get that loving feeling back. I'm sure my boy won't mind if I don't (he's not a fan of the stuff)! LOL!
Monday, August 21, 2006
370 ... 30 ... 1
Yeah-huh, baby! I re-acquainted myself with my fancy-pants-bleed-my-bank-account-dry gym today ... and it rocked! Today I didn't care that on the 1st of the month, the gym performs daylight robbery by taking 82 GBP from my bank account for the privilege of busting my arse as I see fit. Today I didn't care that the woman next to me really wasn't breaking a sweat (I'm convinced she only comes to the gym because it's 'fashionable' rather than for any health reason and ordinarily this bothers me ... Why? Dunno. Maybe because I tend to look like a freak when I work out ... sweating profuses whilst turning beet red).
I hit the long stride cross trainer ... and started out oh so slow! I was a little worried that my port would give me grief ... that it would start aching or give me a stitch like feeling in my side (which it sometimes does for no particular reason). I would normally be pumping my legs like mad getting to 60-60 plus reps per min quite rapidly to really get my heart beating. Today, I started at 38. I felt okay. I gently pushed myself up to 45 reps. Still no problem. No burning. No discomfort. I got a little wrapped up in the tunes I was listening to and found myself five minutes later pumping 57 reps. Wooo! And no pain! Ladies and gentleman, we have a winner! I kept this pace for the remaining 13 minutes. It felt amazingly good to feel the sweat rolling ... although the smell wasn't nearly as intoxicating! LOL! I changed to the short stride cross trainer (mix between stepper and long stride trainer) and did another 10 minutes on my usual program and reps. In a nut shell (help! I'm in a nut shell - Austin P*wers), I burnt 370 calories in 30 minutes, making me one happy bunny! To round off the afternoon, I did 10 minutes of stretching and 10 minutes of 'brain training' (umm ... you know, that nintend* game that's meant to increase the amount of brain matter you use. Weird, I know but the gym is promoting this body, mind, soul thing at the moment ... told you my gym was fancy pants! LOL!). You know what, I feel brilliant!
I ate regularly today. Good food. Whole food. But I have found yet another food that does not agree with me at present. Pecan nuts. It doesn't matter that I've chewed them to a fine paste ... when I swallow, it just seems to get 'stuck' in my oesophagus and then it hurts like blazers! The list of food that doesn't agree with me is getting so bloody long ... is there going to be anything left that I CAN eat!
I must admit ... it was nice to get back into a proper routine today. I thrive on routine. Routine is my friend. In all honesty, we're the best of friends!
I hit the long stride cross trainer ... and started out oh so slow! I was a little worried that my port would give me grief ... that it would start aching or give me a stitch like feeling in my side (which it sometimes does for no particular reason). I would normally be pumping my legs like mad getting to 60-60 plus reps per min quite rapidly to really get my heart beating. Today, I started at 38. I felt okay. I gently pushed myself up to 45 reps. Still no problem. No burning. No discomfort. I got a little wrapped up in the tunes I was listening to and found myself five minutes later pumping 57 reps. Wooo! And no pain! Ladies and gentleman, we have a winner! I kept this pace for the remaining 13 minutes. It felt amazingly good to feel the sweat rolling ... although the smell wasn't nearly as intoxicating! LOL! I changed to the short stride cross trainer (mix between stepper and long stride trainer) and did another 10 minutes on my usual program and reps. In a nut shell (help! I'm in a nut shell - Austin P*wers), I burnt 370 calories in 30 minutes, making me one happy bunny! To round off the afternoon, I did 10 minutes of stretching and 10 minutes of 'brain training' (umm ... you know, that nintend* game that's meant to increase the amount of brain matter you use. Weird, I know but the gym is promoting this body, mind, soul thing at the moment ... told you my gym was fancy pants! LOL!). You know what, I feel brilliant!
I ate regularly today. Good food. Whole food. But I have found yet another food that does not agree with me at present. Pecan nuts. It doesn't matter that I've chewed them to a fine paste ... when I swallow, it just seems to get 'stuck' in my oesophagus and then it hurts like blazers! The list of food that doesn't agree with me is getting so bloody long ... is there going to be anything left that I CAN eat!
I must admit ... it was nice to get back into a proper routine today. I thrive on routine. Routine is my friend. In all honesty, we're the best of friends!
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Minus the chicken and licorice
I have discovered I cannot eat chicken or licorice (not that licorice really should be at the top of my super foods list!). It doesn't matter how well I chew either of these things, they either don't agree with my oesophagus or my band. I get this gawd awful pain in my chest around boob level. It feels akin to swallowing sand paper (aaah, not that I've ever tried to swallow sand paper ... but I'd imagine it would feel much the same! LOL!). So, I guess I will have to get my protein through fish, seafood and diary foods. I'll try introducing the red meat bit after my first fill.
****
After work yesterday, I did my first decent grocery shop since the operation ... 4 & a 1/2 weeks ago! I have just been picking up the odd tub of yoghurt or baby bel cheeses at the express supermarket. But yesterday was a kick arse shop ... resulting in me hauling 8 bulging plastic bags home over two bus routes (Ooh! That's why I use to shop so frequently before). I hate dragging shopping home on public transport. It's such a madame. The traumatic experience is almost on par with sharing a bathroom with the forementioned person who sheds hair like a long haired laborador!.
I bought salmon fillets, prawns (shrimp, for all the non-Aussies!), yoghurt, cheese and a cache of fruit and vege (non-woody vegetables, of course!). I forked out £70 on groceries! Woah! I normally only spend £40 on a BIG shop. Ah! But of course! Not only had a bought groceries but I had thrown in a pair of black trousers and a blouse for work (is it just me ... or is it not kinda weird that a grocery store would sell clothes?) as they were as cheap as chips and I had gone mad buying household cleaners and bathing stuffs (mouthwash, shampoo/conditioner, hair mask, body wash, shower puff ad nauseum).
****
After work yesterday, I did my first decent grocery shop since the operation ... 4 & a 1/2 weeks ago! I have just been picking up the odd tub of yoghurt or baby bel cheeses at the express supermarket. But yesterday was a kick arse shop ... resulting in me hauling 8 bulging plastic bags home over two bus routes (Ooh! That's why I use to shop so frequently before). I hate dragging shopping home on public transport. It's such a madame. The traumatic experience is almost on par with sharing a bathroom with the forementioned person who sheds hair like a long haired laborador!.
I bought salmon fillets, prawns (shrimp, for all the non-Aussies!), yoghurt, cheese and a cache of fruit and vege (non-woody vegetables, of course!). I forked out £70 on groceries! Woah! I normally only spend £40 on a BIG shop. Ah! But of course! Not only had a bought groceries but I had thrown in a pair of black trousers and a blouse for work (is it just me ... or is it not kinda weird that a grocery store would sell clothes?) as they were as cheap as chips and I had gone mad buying household cleaners and bathing stuffs (mouthwash, shampoo/conditioner, hair mask, body wash, shower puff ad nauseum).
Friday, August 18, 2006
Edinburgh, food and The Plan
Righto, people! Let me tell you about Edinburgh and the Tattoo. Against my good judgement (or more accurately because I didn't get my arse into gear early enough to get a ticket to the Tattoo!), I went with a tour group. I hate tours. I hate the herding of 50 odd people on and off a bloody bus seeing bloody touristy things. I hate dodgey hotels which house mattresses well past their used by date. I hate sharing a bathroom with someone who sheds more hair than long haired labrador. Ugh! So NOT my scene. But as I said, I didn't get a ticket to the Tattoo independently (mind you, tickets sold out in December last year for this year's performance!) and had no other option if I really wanted to see this amazing event. If you ever get to go, be prepared to line up with 1000's of people ... not ideal if you suffer claustrophobia or agoraphobia! It's mad but somehow they seem to get everyone inside within 30 minutes - no exceptions. But seriously, the sound of bag pipes ... watching over 300 pipers playing and performing in perfect unison made the hairs on my neck stand up. It's truly moving .. and quite haunting. Words do not do justice in describing this event. All I can say is that it's just amazing!
In August, not only does Edinburgh put on the Military Tattoo but it also hosts the Fringe Festival which is an eclectic mix of live comedy acts, street performances and musical events. Imagine ... an entire month devoted to the arts (a loving sigh!). By chance, I happened upon a Glaswegian band on Sunday who put a funky spin on the traditional way the drums and bag pipes are played. As I love original stuff, I bought their cd to support their art. How kind am I?! Lol!
I also ventured out to Roslyn to see the infamous chapel from Dan Br*wn's book. It's a beautiful little chapel. But it is little. And it is inundated with tourists. You can barely move inside. But to see the exquisite stone masonary was worth the 7 pound entry fee and elbowing my way through the sea of people inside. Every piece of stone work tells a story. I could've stayed for hours but the lack of space really limited prolonged enjoyment!
***
I ended up eating solid (but largely soft) food .. nothing that involved bread or pasta. And nothing that required too much chewing like crunchy apples or tortilla chips! What did I eat? I hear you ask ... well, I ate the following:
(now, now ... if this bores you ... hit 'page down' about now!)
Friday:
In August, not only does Edinburgh put on the Military Tattoo but it also hosts the Fringe Festival which is an eclectic mix of live comedy acts, street performances and musical events. Imagine ... an entire month devoted to the arts (a loving sigh!). By chance, I happened upon a Glaswegian band on Sunday who put a funky spin on the traditional way the drums and bag pipes are played. As I love original stuff, I bought their cd to support their art. How kind am I?! Lol!
I also ventured out to Roslyn to see the infamous chapel from Dan Br*wn's book. It's a beautiful little chapel. But it is little. And it is inundated with tourists. You can barely move inside. But to see the exquisite stone masonary was worth the 7 pound entry fee and elbowing my way through the sea of people inside. Every piece of stone work tells a story. I could've stayed for hours but the lack of space really limited prolonged enjoyment!
***
I ended up eating solid (but largely soft) food .. nothing that involved bread or pasta. And nothing that required too much chewing like crunchy apples or tortilla chips! What did I eat? I hear you ask ... well, I ate the following:
(now, now ... if this bores you ... hit 'page down' about now!)
Friday:
- Protein shake (1 cup)
- Fruit smoothie (non-dairy) (1 cup)
- Kit kat (impulse buy on the train as I was starving 3 hours into the train journey .. any wonder considering I'd only eaten the above?!)
- Small salmon fillet with 1 1/2 baby potatoes (tiny baby potatoes at that!)
- 8 kalamata olives
- Chocolate mousse (1/2 cup)
Saturday:
- 1 weetabix (with lots of milk and a sprinkling of sugar)
- 2 tablespoons of baked beans
- 2 tablespoons of scrambled eggs
- Latte (1/2 shot) (small)
- Slice of edam cheese
- Kit kat (not a wise choice!)
- 2 egg omlette with cheese and ham
- Fruit smoothie
- Protein shake
- Bolognaise sauce (no pasta) (6 tablespoons)
Sunday:
- 1/2 slice of toast, 2 tablespoons of baked beans and scrambled eggs
- 1 weetabix
- Latte (1/2 shot) (small)
- Chili con carne (6 tablespoons)
- Fruit smoothie
- Kit kat (naughty girl .. 3 days in a row .. shame!)
- Protein shake (1 cup)
- Fat slice of brie cheese
- Coconut yoghurt (3/4 cup)
Since I've started eating solid food my appetite has come back with a vengeance! I actually feel hungry every couple of hours now ... it really sucks! I am sooo looking forward to my fill to hopefully kurb my appetite again. It was so nice not to think (and single mindedly focus) on food all the bloody time. I can't wait to have that feeling of not being hungry back again. Two weeks tomorrow, my friends, till I have my first fill. I'm sooo excited ... the anticipation is killing me! Hurry up already! (Patience is not one of my better virtues if you couldn't guess!)
***
Next week I plan to keep a food journal, eat regularly (even if only small portions of food) and exercise (4-5 times). I have decided I am not going to weigh myself until the Wednesday prior to my fill so as not to send myself spiraling into a black void (as per Tuesday's entry). I just need to give it time. Be patient. Love my body. And know without a shadow of a doubt that I'm going to kick arse ... eventually!
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Whinge Whinge Moan Moan
I promise to fill you in on my little adventure to Scotland but that will have to wait for tomorrow.
Today I'm disappointed. I'm out of sorts. I'm not happy Jan.
I have barely lost any weight since the uber amazing 4kg loss.
I am lucky to eat a proper meal on any given day. I struggle to eat a full meal. Even if I don't feel a soft stop or a full signal, I stop eating anyway. Most days I don't eat nearly enough. I have started to eat more normal food again (not just mashed veg!).
I know in the last couple of days .. okay, two weeks ... I've been a bit slack ... okay, really slack, with the water thing.
I don't understand what's happening. My body is conspiring against me. I want to kick my own arse.
***
My port has been giving me grief on and off for the last couple of days. Unfortunately, my port is located right at the level of my waist which means my trousers are often pressing against the port most of the day (people generally have a port placed just above the waist).
Of course, it couldn't just be my port giving me pain but also my left hip & lower back and both my knees (but particularly my left) are continually aching. At present, it's a continual reminder of what my excess weight is doing to my joints alone (why does your body fall apart just when you're doing something about improving it's state?!).
I feel flat. Disappointed. Frustrated.
Sigh.
Today I'm disappointed. I'm out of sorts. I'm not happy Jan.
I have barely lost any weight since the uber amazing 4kg loss.
I am lucky to eat a proper meal on any given day. I struggle to eat a full meal. Even if I don't feel a soft stop or a full signal, I stop eating anyway. Most days I don't eat nearly enough. I have started to eat more normal food again (not just mashed veg!).
I know in the last couple of days .. okay, two weeks ... I've been a bit slack ... okay, really slack, with the water thing.
I don't understand what's happening. My body is conspiring against me. I want to kick my own arse.
***
My port has been giving me grief on and off for the last couple of days. Unfortunately, my port is located right at the level of my waist which means my trousers are often pressing against the port most of the day (people generally have a port placed just above the waist).
Of course, it couldn't just be my port giving me pain but also my left hip & lower back and both my knees (but particularly my left) are continually aching. At present, it's a continual reminder of what my excess weight is doing to my joints alone (why does your body fall apart just when you're doing something about improving it's state?!).
I feel flat. Disappointed. Frustrated.
Sigh.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
A bit about not a lot
Another terror plot at Heathrow airport today. Makes me a little disappointed and jaded with the human race.
I worked a ridiculous number of hours today ... trying to prove to myself that I care about the human race even if 18 screwed up terrorists don't. I saw Jews. Muslims. Christians. And an aetheist today. Ultimately, we are all people. Human beings with same basic contents - skeleton, muscles, vital organs. We may be bought up in different countries, with different religions, different ideals but that doesn't make any one more right or wrong than the other. Sigh.
****
On a more smiley note, I did eat 3/4 of a slice of vegetable fritatta for lunch today. Only one episode of thinking it wasn't going to go down .. that was when I was working my way through a chunk of egg. Oh! And I had a latte (only 1/2 shot, of course!). Woohoo!
***
I have had some discomfort in my port site over the last couple of days. It's not pain. It's like when you get a stitch in your side from a lactic acid build up after running. I only seem to get it when I'm walking quite quickly carrying a lot of stuff. It temporarily eases when I sucked my gut in. It completely dissipates when I stop moving or when I sit or when I slow down and meander rather than race. I rang the doctor to check this was normal. He said it was and I could expect it for up to 8 or so weeks post op. He also said I could go back to yoga and pilates. Yesss!
***
So, I'm off to Edinburgh. Talk amongst yourselves people 'til I return!
I worked a ridiculous number of hours today ... trying to prove to myself that I care about the human race even if 18 screwed up terrorists don't. I saw Jews. Muslims. Christians. And an aetheist today. Ultimately, we are all people. Human beings with same basic contents - skeleton, muscles, vital organs. We may be bought up in different countries, with different religions, different ideals but that doesn't make any one more right or wrong than the other. Sigh.
****
On a more smiley note, I did eat 3/4 of a slice of vegetable fritatta for lunch today. Only one episode of thinking it wasn't going to go down .. that was when I was working my way through a chunk of egg. Oh! And I had a latte (only 1/2 shot, of course!). Woohoo!
***
I have had some discomfort in my port site over the last couple of days. It's not pain. It's like when you get a stitch in your side from a lactic acid build up after running. I only seem to get it when I'm walking quite quickly carrying a lot of stuff. It temporarily eases when I sucked my gut in. It completely dissipates when I stop moving or when I sit or when I slow down and meander rather than race. I rang the doctor to check this was normal. He said it was and I could expect it for up to 8 or so weeks post op. He also said I could go back to yoga and pilates. Yesss!
***
So, I'm off to Edinburgh. Talk amongst yourselves people 'til I return!
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Surge and the cargo pant monster
Oh. My. God. What's the deal with Waterloo train station (London)? It was 5:30pm and my friend had suggested meeting at said train station. No wuckers! 4 stops from work .. dead easy place to meet. Ha! After elbowing my way out of the underground, I arrived at the overland train station. I got swept up in the surging sea of humanity. Honestly, if you stopped still for as much as a nanosecond you'd be obliterated ... at the very least someone would let fly a string of profanities at you. It was overwhelming. I wanted to lie down and curl up into a foetal position (if I wasn't so scared of being stampeded!). It was completely insane. How can so many bloody people fit into one relatively small place.
I got there a little early and took the opportunity to peel off and find safety near a pillar. Oh! A little time to indulge one of my favourite past times ... people watching! Ever done it? It's soooo fascinating! Tall people. Short people. Skinny people. Fat people. People with immaculate dress sense but unfortunate faces. Others who really shouldn't have been allowed out their front door in the ensemble they were strutting around in. Old shoes. New shoes. Obviously expensive shoes. Pink hair. No hair. Facial hair (was that a chick or a bloke?!).
I spotted my mate. We stoically fought out way out of the station - against the flow. Oh! Brilliant move, bright sparks! We made our way down to the river and found a little Italian restaurant. I immediately made a move for the menu and studied it. Hmm. Soup. Fish. Risotto. Likely to be suitable. Chicken. Pasta. Pizza. Hmph! I so know I'll have dilemmas with that (especially as I'm still meant to be on soft food). Thinking. Thinking. Thinking food. Thinking, I should tell my mate I'm not going to eat much. Thinking.
"Hey, I still really don't have a huge appetite since my op."
"Don't worry .. you're sitting next to a human waste disposal!" Ah, bless!
I ordered risotto. My mate ordered chicken with a variety of vegetables. I sipped tiny sips of water literally up until our meals were served. Once again, I had the experience of my mate well and truly finishing his meal before I had even put a dent in mine! I saw him giving my risotto the hairy eyeball. The bloody stuff was getting cold faster than I could eat it. After a small burp, I figured I must be full - no definite hard stop sign but better to quit while I was ahead. My mate polished off the remainders in no more than 9 heaped spoonfuls!
We sat soaking up the last of day's rays and talked about life. A dessert menu appeared on the table. "Up for it?", my mate asked. "I might've lost my appetite but not my dessert reservoir!". I ordered a delicious, creamy panacotta. Bellisima! Very nicely satiated .. we wondered back down the river to the station.
***
People can be so mean without ever opening their mouthes (myself included). I watched this very large girl board the train dressed in exercise clothes brandishing a brochure from a local gym. She fought her way to an empty seat and forced her bulk into it. To be polite she squashed her body well and truly into the partition to her right to ensure she wasn't encroaching on the space of the person beside her. I watched as people stared at her. I watched as people looked at the brochure she was studying and then at her. You could read their minds. I wanted to yell, "At least she's trying to do something about it, you oafs!". I refrained. It probably would've been seen as a little anti-social and attention grabbing. But at the same time, I was a bit of a hypocrite. I looked at her majestic mountain of flesh ... her overflowing apron tummy and cringed. I felt sick. I felt for her. I felt for me. That could very well have been me one day.
We both disembarked at the same station. I trotted up the stairs. I could hear her huffing and puffing behind me after only three stairs. I was so wrapped up thinking about this woman I've never met that my face was nearly gobbled by a cargo-panted monster! Yup! My face nearly ended up in a woman's bot-bot as she stopped to answer her mobile. Don't you hate that!
Obesity.
It's bloody everywhere.
It destroys people's lives .. their self esteem, their health, their relationships.
Dear God ... please let this band help me.
I got there a little early and took the opportunity to peel off and find safety near a pillar. Oh! A little time to indulge one of my favourite past times ... people watching! Ever done it? It's soooo fascinating! Tall people. Short people. Skinny people. Fat people. People with immaculate dress sense but unfortunate faces. Others who really shouldn't have been allowed out their front door in the ensemble they were strutting around in. Old shoes. New shoes. Obviously expensive shoes. Pink hair. No hair. Facial hair (was that a chick or a bloke?!).
I spotted my mate. We stoically fought out way out of the station - against the flow. Oh! Brilliant move, bright sparks! We made our way down to the river and found a little Italian restaurant. I immediately made a move for the menu and studied it. Hmm. Soup. Fish. Risotto. Likely to be suitable. Chicken. Pasta. Pizza. Hmph! I so know I'll have dilemmas with that (especially as I'm still meant to be on soft food). Thinking. Thinking. Thinking food. Thinking, I should tell my mate I'm not going to eat much. Thinking.
"Hey, I still really don't have a huge appetite since my op."
"Don't worry .. you're sitting next to a human waste disposal!" Ah, bless!
I ordered risotto. My mate ordered chicken with a variety of vegetables. I sipped tiny sips of water literally up until our meals were served. Once again, I had the experience of my mate well and truly finishing his meal before I had even put a dent in mine! I saw him giving my risotto the hairy eyeball. The bloody stuff was getting cold faster than I could eat it. After a small burp, I figured I must be full - no definite hard stop sign but better to quit while I was ahead. My mate polished off the remainders in no more than 9 heaped spoonfuls!
We sat soaking up the last of day's rays and talked about life. A dessert menu appeared on the table. "Up for it?", my mate asked. "I might've lost my appetite but not my dessert reservoir!". I ordered a delicious, creamy panacotta. Bellisima! Very nicely satiated .. we wondered back down the river to the station.
***
People can be so mean without ever opening their mouthes (myself included). I watched this very large girl board the train dressed in exercise clothes brandishing a brochure from a local gym. She fought her way to an empty seat and forced her bulk into it. To be polite she squashed her body well and truly into the partition to her right to ensure she wasn't encroaching on the space of the person beside her. I watched as people stared at her. I watched as people looked at the brochure she was studying and then at her. You could read their minds. I wanted to yell, "At least she's trying to do something about it, you oafs!". I refrained. It probably would've been seen as a little anti-social and attention grabbing. But at the same time, I was a bit of a hypocrite. I looked at her majestic mountain of flesh ... her overflowing apron tummy and cringed. I felt sick. I felt for her. I felt for me. That could very well have been me one day.
We both disembarked at the same station. I trotted up the stairs. I could hear her huffing and puffing behind me after only three stairs. I was so wrapped up thinking about this woman I've never met that my face was nearly gobbled by a cargo-panted monster! Yup! My face nearly ended up in a woman's bot-bot as she stopped to answer her mobile. Don't you hate that!
Obesity.
It's bloody everywhere.
It destroys people's lives .. their self esteem, their health, their relationships.
Dear God ... please let this band help me.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Cover me, comrades ... I'm going in!
If I needed a blood transfusion this very minute ... emergency services would need to hot tail it to C*sta Coffee and demand 3 lts of hot chocolate STAT. Yup! I've drunk so much hot chocolate today that I have pure liquid chocolate running through my veins! I kind of feel like I've been on a SlimF*st liquid diet today ... oh, stop it! Hot chocolate with a 1/2 inch sludge of chocolate in the bottom is so the same as what's in a can of SlimF*st! *Smiles*
***
As predicted, my coffee soiree with my friends (yes! the lovely, the sexy S joined us! Absolute pleasure doing business with you, darling! LOL!) turned into dinner. Trying to decide on a place to eat without banging on about needing soft food wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. We spotted an Indian restaurant. We peered at the menu outside the restaurant. A quick scan and I thought, "Gawd! This is going to be awful!". My first restaurant experience with mates and I was sharing it with one who knew about my weight loss surgery and the other who didn't. I stood at the front door, took a big breath and muttered to my imaginary army, "Cover me, comrades .. I'm going in!". Once seated, I studied the menu with the intensity of a devoted scholar. Gawd! Chunks of meat. Rice. Naan bread. Soft food wherefore art thou? Oh! There you are .. in the vegetarian section. How exciting. I chose aubergine in a yoghurt curry sauce and a glass of water (so as not to look like an anti-social knob!).
When the papadums arrived to start the meal, I looked lovingly at them for 5 minutes ... then, when I couldn't resist anymore, I nibbled on a portion of papadum .. thoughtfully chewing it into a disgusting paste. Sip of water - it was oh, so small but pastey papadum does need to be washed down I discovered. Dinner arrived.
I still can't believe that in the time it took me to eat 9 chunks of aubergine (no skin), my mates polished off their curry, side dish and bread. It's just such a weird experience. Totally foreign. Totally bizarre. It's all about mindful eating .. tuning in with your body. After the said 9 chunks of aubergine, I felt comfortably full. Don't get me wrong. I could've kept eating. But I wasn't hungry and I wasn't stuffed. For shame, I did order some sorbet but only got 3/4 through the first of two scoops and really had to call it a night.
***
Since eating dinner, I have had some fabulously fiesty gas and tummy pain (lower abdomen) .. kinda like period pain. It's too soon after eating for it to have been caused by the food but man! Am I generating some natural gas or what! Sorry, you were eating?!
***
As predicted, my coffee soiree with my friends (yes! the lovely, the sexy S joined us! Absolute pleasure doing business with you, darling! LOL!) turned into dinner. Trying to decide on a place to eat without banging on about needing soft food wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. We spotted an Indian restaurant. We peered at the menu outside the restaurant. A quick scan and I thought, "Gawd! This is going to be awful!". My first restaurant experience with mates and I was sharing it with one who knew about my weight loss surgery and the other who didn't. I stood at the front door, took a big breath and muttered to my imaginary army, "Cover me, comrades .. I'm going in!". Once seated, I studied the menu with the intensity of a devoted scholar. Gawd! Chunks of meat. Rice. Naan bread. Soft food wherefore art thou? Oh! There you are .. in the vegetarian section. How exciting. I chose aubergine in a yoghurt curry sauce and a glass of water (so as not to look like an anti-social knob!).
When the papadums arrived to start the meal, I looked lovingly at them for 5 minutes ... then, when I couldn't resist anymore, I nibbled on a portion of papadum .. thoughtfully chewing it into a disgusting paste. Sip of water - it was oh, so small but pastey papadum does need to be washed down I discovered. Dinner arrived.
I still can't believe that in the time it took me to eat 9 chunks of aubergine (no skin), my mates polished off their curry, side dish and bread. It's just such a weird experience. Totally foreign. Totally bizarre. It's all about mindful eating .. tuning in with your body. After the said 9 chunks of aubergine, I felt comfortably full. Don't get me wrong. I could've kept eating. But I wasn't hungry and I wasn't stuffed. For shame, I did order some sorbet but only got 3/4 through the first of two scoops and really had to call it a night.
***
Since eating dinner, I have had some fabulously fiesty gas and tummy pain (lower abdomen) .. kinda like period pain. It's too soon after eating for it to have been caused by the food but man! Am I generating some natural gas or what! Sorry, you were eating?!
Monday, August 07, 2006
Sigh.
I started my new job today. It's right up my alley. I love doing consulting work for hospitals rather than being stuck in one place. Love it! But I think it's going to start a turf war or two with staff members from other hospitals. Tough crowd, man. One particular staff memeber eye balled me and made it very clear that she did not want me there. Cough. Cough. Ah, excuse me, madam ... could you please remove your stiletto heel from my foot. It kinda hurts. Sigh. I guess giving up roles that have typically been yours until this scruffy looking woman arrives wearing flip flops and a smile announcing she's about to do part of your job, is never going to go down without a fight. You wanna fight?! Fine! Meet you out back ... if I'm not there in 10 .. start without me.
***
How 'bout that sparrow's diet I did today:
***
How 'bout that sparrow's diet I did today:
- Protein shake (25oml milk)
- Cup of hot chocolate
- 2 baby bell cheese wheels
- 1 mouth mint
- 1 cup mashed veggies
What's that about?! *faints*
***
I miss my man. I miss eating. I miss the gym (yeah, shock horror!).
Sigh.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Chewing vs inhaling
So, I tried to eat a little chicken yesterday. I was so looking forward to it. Wee bite sized pieces of marinated chicken breast. I know I really should've pureed it ... but I figured my mouth is a built in blender, so why spend 2 minutes doing something with an appliance that I can do with my mouth! Uber uber big mistake!
First slice (less than thumb size), I chewed and chewed (25 times .. yes, I actually counted!). It was kinda disgusting. Sooo sloppy you can barely believe you're going to swallow it! And taste? Well, after 25 chews it was the equivalent of chewing gum that's lost it's taste. But it went down without incident. Just as I popped the next slice into my mouth, I was slightly distracted by my malfunctioning washing machine. I have no idea how many times I chewed but I'm guessing it was probably less than 5. I swallowed without thinking. Almost instantaneously, I got a pain in my chest - just between my boobs. Oh. My. Gawd. It bloomin' hurt! The kind of hurt that brings tears to your eyes. The pain passed 30 seconds later.
I realise I have a lot to re-learn about eating. Put simply .. I need to learn to chew versus inhaling! Attend to my food when eating rather than mindlessly stuffing my face. Hopefully I will only be as thick as to require minimal uncomfortable experiences to learn. Gawd, I hope so!
Today, I visited my favourite Italian restaurant. I thought while I was in town I might treat myself to a bowl of soup for lunch. This whole eating out thing with friends is going to be bizarre! I mean, today for example, in the time it took me to eat 1/2 bowl of soup, the women sitting beside me had polished off a glass of wine, 2 glasses of water and a bowl of pasta each! Previously, I would've beaten them hands down (twice!) had I been eating the same thing they'd ordered let alone a measley bowl of soup!
After 1/2 bowl of soup, I was content. Not stuffed. Not hungry. Just nice. This feeling was followed up by a small burp (which apparently is a 'soft' sign that you're full ... if you ignore this and keep eating, you could cause yourself to puke).
You know what the best part was?! When the bill came it only cost me 5 GBP! That was for soup and a bottle of water (which I stashed in my bag after only taking two sips during lunch). My bill used to be around 18 GBP before I had the band! This funky little thing is going to pay for itself just by slashing my grocery and eating out bills!
First slice (less than thumb size), I chewed and chewed (25 times .. yes, I actually counted!). It was kinda disgusting. Sooo sloppy you can barely believe you're going to swallow it! And taste? Well, after 25 chews it was the equivalent of chewing gum that's lost it's taste. But it went down without incident. Just as I popped the next slice into my mouth, I was slightly distracted by my malfunctioning washing machine. I have no idea how many times I chewed but I'm guessing it was probably less than 5. I swallowed without thinking. Almost instantaneously, I got a pain in my chest - just between my boobs. Oh. My. Gawd. It bloomin' hurt! The kind of hurt that brings tears to your eyes. The pain passed 30 seconds later.
I realise I have a lot to re-learn about eating. Put simply .. I need to learn to chew versus inhaling! Attend to my food when eating rather than mindlessly stuffing my face. Hopefully I will only be as thick as to require minimal uncomfortable experiences to learn. Gawd, I hope so!
Today, I visited my favourite Italian restaurant. I thought while I was in town I might treat myself to a bowl of soup for lunch. This whole eating out thing with friends is going to be bizarre! I mean, today for example, in the time it took me to eat 1/2 bowl of soup, the women sitting beside me had polished off a glass of wine, 2 glasses of water and a bowl of pasta each! Previously, I would've beaten them hands down (twice!) had I been eating the same thing they'd ordered let alone a measley bowl of soup!
After 1/2 bowl of soup, I was content. Not stuffed. Not hungry. Just nice. This feeling was followed up by a small burp (which apparently is a 'soft' sign that you're full ... if you ignore this and keep eating, you could cause yourself to puke).
You know what the best part was?! When the bill came it only cost me 5 GBP! That was for soup and a bottle of water (which I stashed in my bag after only taking two sips during lunch). My bill used to be around 18 GBP before I had the band! This funky little thing is going to pay for itself just by slashing my grocery and eating out bills!
Saturday, August 05, 2006
That's such a pain in the port!
Yesterday I had some pain in my port area. The feeling was similar to when I first had surgery. The only thing I can think of that could've caused the pain is that for 1/2 the day yesterday, I was sitting down at a desk .. the top of my trousers were pressing (digging into!) on my port incision. At the time I didn't think anything of it but it could've very well aggrevated it. I didn't eat or drink much either (I know ... tut tut!) but I can't see how that would affect my port. It's rather odd. I mean, I do 4 1/2 days of physical work with absolutely no problems. I then sit at a desk for 4 hours and feel impossibly uncomfortable later in the evening. After a good night's sleep, the pain has largely subsided. Still a little niggly today but not horrific (I think a couple of my stitches are also trying to make their way to the skin surface).
After working 7 days out of 8, my body is soooo ready for a rest tomorrow! I'm predicting a ridiculously looong sleep in tomorrow .. I think I'll be lucky to even get out of my pj's to be honest! LOL!
After working 7 days out of 8, my body is soooo ready for a rest tomorrow! I'm predicting a ridiculously looong sleep in tomorrow .. I think I'll be lucky to even get out of my pj's to be honest! LOL!
Friday, August 04, 2006
Isn't it ironic
Isn't it ironic that ....
Whenever you start a diet ... blocks of chocolate are on sale at the supermarket.
and ....
whenever you have a grand plan to start exercising "on Monday" ... you end up being the biggest social butterfly. I sometimes feel I must send telepathic messages to all my mates about my impending exercise kick. I'm sure it's something along the lines of: "Hey! I'm planning on going on a kick arse exercise stint next week ... please save me from myself and invite me out somewhere that I can't possibly say no to!".
Yup! This week is a little social fest for me. I'm meeting a friend for coffee Tuesday evening (which won't give away my game) but is likely to turn into dinner (hmmm! how do you get around the fact that normally when you meet this particular friend you end up going to a gourmet burger kitchen?!). Wednesday evening I'm meeting another friend for dinner. He knows I've had surgery (but not what) and is happy to go somewhere where I can get a bowl of soup (lucky, lucky me!). On Friday morning, I am heading to Edinburgh (for three days) for the Ed!nburgh Milit*ry Tatt*o. I'm soooo excited! But I'm a bit concerned about travelling and the mushie diet thing. I think I'm going to have to have a little bit of a game plan. I guess it won't hurt to take my protein powder (as I normally only have a protein shake for breakfast at the moment anyway), some pack cup-a-soups and pureed fruit. I'm just going to have to find a wee cafe or restaurant to eat soup twice a day! Gawd! I hope they serve more than one variety! LOL!
****
I'm still not very hungry. I get times where I know for sure I'm hungry and have something to eat but I'm not stuck on it. I'm not really fussed by food to be honest. There has been an enormous amount of goodies at work this week and I haven't even felt tempted. I mean, I watched a work colleague eat a Cornetto (ice cream) today and didn't even feel slightly moved (normally I would think "Geez, that looks good ... I gotta get me one of 'em!"). Even the warm, wafting smells of fast food stores don't excite me. It's a bloody nice experience let me tell you!
Whenever you start a diet ... blocks of chocolate are on sale at the supermarket.
and ....
whenever you have a grand plan to start exercising "on Monday" ... you end up being the biggest social butterfly. I sometimes feel I must send telepathic messages to all my mates about my impending exercise kick. I'm sure it's something along the lines of: "Hey! I'm planning on going on a kick arse exercise stint next week ... please save me from myself and invite me out somewhere that I can't possibly say no to!".
Yup! This week is a little social fest for me. I'm meeting a friend for coffee Tuesday evening (which won't give away my game) but is likely to turn into dinner (hmmm! how do you get around the fact that normally when you meet this particular friend you end up going to a gourmet burger kitchen?!). Wednesday evening I'm meeting another friend for dinner. He knows I've had surgery (but not what) and is happy to go somewhere where I can get a bowl of soup (lucky, lucky me!). On Friday morning, I am heading to Edinburgh (for three days) for the Ed!nburgh Milit*ry Tatt*o. I'm soooo excited! But I'm a bit concerned about travelling and the mushie diet thing. I think I'm going to have to have a little bit of a game plan. I guess it won't hurt to take my protein powder (as I normally only have a protein shake for breakfast at the moment anyway), some pack cup-a-soups and pureed fruit. I'm just going to have to find a wee cafe or restaurant to eat soup twice a day! Gawd! I hope they serve more than one variety! LOL!
****
I'm still not very hungry. I get times where I know for sure I'm hungry and have something to eat but I'm not stuck on it. I'm not really fussed by food to be honest. There has been an enormous amount of goodies at work this week and I haven't even felt tempted. I mean, I watched a work colleague eat a Cornetto (ice cream) today and didn't even feel slightly moved (normally I would think "Geez, that looks good ... I gotta get me one of 'em!"). Even the warm, wafting smells of fast food stores don't excite me. It's a bloody nice experience let me tell you!
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Working 9-5
Woohoo! Back to working a full day without experiecing a massive blood sugar crash at 4pm. Monday through to Wednesday I had to cut my hours down (only by half an hour) due to feeling light headed and exhausted. Today though, I worked 8 hours. I'm starting to feel like I'm getting my energy back - I'm not as wiped out as I was even two days ago (I did have a 20 minute nap when I got home but that is totaly beside the point!).
I am now able to lay on my left side most of the night now without any pain or niggling (I have had some left hip/back pain for the last two days but I think it's related to my horrific back condition rather than anything to do with the surgery). I can roll over without bracing my stomach with a pillow. And can get in & out of bed without having to plan it. And I can lay on my stomach again. Annnnd .. I can run for the bus! Yup! I ran for the bus this afternoon without even thinking ... by the time I did think about what I'd done, I realised I'd had no pain or discomfort. I can feel a rendezvous with the gym coming on!
Speaking of a rendezvous ... I have a date for my first band fill. Pencil the 2nd September into your diaries, kiddies ... that's when I'll be getting a whopping great needle poked into (& digging around in!) my gut to put the first lot of saline fluid into the band port. Aaaaaw ... I soooo hate needles. I begin to feel faint at the very sight of them! *pulls a face*
I am now able to lay on my left side most of the night now without any pain or niggling (I have had some left hip/back pain for the last two days but I think it's related to my horrific back condition rather than anything to do with the surgery). I can roll over without bracing my stomach with a pillow. And can get in & out of bed without having to plan it. And I can lay on my stomach again. Annnnd .. I can run for the bus! Yup! I ran for the bus this afternoon without even thinking ... by the time I did think about what I'd done, I realised I'd had no pain or discomfort. I can feel a rendezvous with the gym coming on!
Speaking of a rendezvous ... I have a date for my first band fill. Pencil the 2nd September into your diaries, kiddies ... that's when I'll be getting a whopping great needle poked into (& digging around in!) my gut to put the first lot of saline fluid into the band port. Aaaaaw ... I soooo hate needles. I begin to feel faint at the very sight of them! *pulls a face*
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
*Runs in smiling* Guess what!
Yeh-huh! That's right amigos! 4 kilos ... 8.8lbs (for my international buddies!) in 2 weeks! (It seems muuuuch longer than that though, believe me!).
I'm so excited! And relieved ... I know they say that the first 6 weeks is all about your body healing itself and any weight loss during this period (prior to your first band fill) is a bonus but I KNOW I would've been devastated had I not lost an ounce.
I am now back in what some bandsters call "One-derland" (a weight starting with 100 if you happen to be weighing yourself using pounds) and almost back into the 80's (kgs) which is where I normally reside. I haven't been over 89 kgs since I was studying at university some 9 years ago ... I think I took the whole idea of "Last suppers" prior to my op a little too literal! I ate waaaaay too much in the months between deciding and having surgery and now have to do some bloody hard work to shave off those gluttonous and unnecessary kilos. Sigh.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Something about the shakes and a chicken
What happens when you consume a glass of milk (with protein powder), a glass of lucozade, 1/2 cup of tomato soup and 2 tablespoons of apple puree? Well, my friends, I'm glad you asked! You get wicked shakes! Yup. I got the shakes really bad yesterday afternoon. It was 4:15pm. I had been working since 8:45am. The only things I had eaten or drunk were the meagre morsels above during 9 1/2 hours. At first, I felt my vision was a little blurred, I felt faint and then the shakes begun. I physically could not stop them. A quick thinking colleague grabbed some chocolate which I sucked the living soul outta! It took every ounce of concentration and might to finish my patient documentation in a legible scrawl. IThe whole experience was actually quite alarming. It's like nothing you've experienced before. You feel so dazed. Unable to think or move. It's a minor version of being comatosed. I felt like I was having an out of body experience of trying to run underwater ... everything just seemed to slow to a crawl. Sooo, kiddies, when eating like a sparrow, have some glucose tablets on hand or eat/drink SOMETHING every hour or two!
I feel fine today. Just ensured I had more goodies with me at work to keep topping up. The funny thing being back at work is that my hunger has returned! Part physical but mostly head hunger, I think! I haven't been feeling that hungry since surgery ... I mean the feeling passes in waves but it's never unbearable. I get back to work and after one measley hour my gut is making enough noise to rival a brass band! It felt like my throat was cut! Of course, when it came time to eat ... I really couldn't eat a lot. Work is associated with eating - there is ALWAYS chocolate, chips, cake, biscuits and other assorted goodies to celebrate birthdays, imminent departures, promotions, marriages, babies, thank you's plus an asortment of other excuses to be able to eat! And while I'm on the subject of food at work, why is it that when people leave hospital they always want to leave massive tins/boxes of chocolates for the staff?! What's that about?!
I feel fine today. Just ensured I had more goodies with me at work to keep topping up. The funny thing being back at work is that my hunger has returned! Part physical but mostly head hunger, I think! I haven't been feeling that hungry since surgery ... I mean the feeling passes in waves but it's never unbearable. I get back to work and after one measley hour my gut is making enough noise to rival a brass band! It felt like my throat was cut! Of course, when it came time to eat ... I really couldn't eat a lot. Work is associated with eating - there is ALWAYS chocolate, chips, cake, biscuits and other assorted goodies to celebrate birthdays, imminent departures, promotions, marriages, babies, thank you's plus an asortment of other excuses to be able to eat! And while I'm on the subject of food at work, why is it that when people leave hospital they always want to leave massive tins/boxes of chocolates for the staff?! What's that about?!
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I was flicking through the paper this morning on the tube ride to work and lo and behold, there was an ad for gastric banding. It was a kinda sign. An affirmation that I'd done the right thing. (Yeah ... at this point I'm still needing affirmation that I HAVE done the right thing! The positive proof of my decision is still has to be seen in first person) The three women in the ad were posing in that usual poxy, "I've lost a shite load of weight" way (with the dreaded before picture in miniature form) ... I mean, I've never seen people pose like this in real life. But hey, they looked good. The total losses were: 6, 7 & 12 stone. I'd love to know how long it took them to lose the weight and what hurdles and obstacles they encountered. I'm the proverbial curious cat - wish I had the nine lives to match. On the topic of weight loss, I chickened out today and didn't weigh myself. I lay in bed last night thinking "I don't think I've lost much (IF ANY!) weight ... why go embarass and depress myself". It worked. I couldn't bring myself to step on the scales today. I do really need to work on my internal dialogue .. I think it's been partly to blame for my past weight loss failures because I believe it. Sigh. I'm going to stride down to Boot's tomorrow and own that scale, dammit!
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