Sigh. I am so jealous. It’ll probably bring me bad karma for saying so. But I am. I fully understand that comparing yourself to another in the weight loss parlava can precipitate emotional suicide … or at least some frenzied disappointment eating. I happened to be browsing through some lap band blogs a couple of days ago and found one that was authored by a woman who had her surgery about five days before I did. In 6 weeks she lost a total of 26 pounds (11.8kgs) – taking her from 225 to 199. Kudos to her! It is an awesome achievement and she must feel on top of the world. I, on the other hand, am dead jealous. My weight loss hasn’t been nearly as impressive. The lack of downward movement on the scales has me fearing that maybe this is going to be a spectacular failure that has come with a massive price tag. Dammit.
I then checked out some general weight loss blogs …. a number of people doing the weight loss thing the old fashioned way are moving astounding amounts of lard on a regular basis. Sigh. Hey body – let’s part with the fat suit … it’s soooo last season. How ‘bout it? Please?
For all my whingeing, I have had four people comment on my changing appearance. I think at the moment, it’s all about the inches and not the damn number on the scale.
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My appetite is as hearty as it ever was. I can pretty much eat the same quantity of food as I did prior to surgery (over the last three days). Obviously, there are some foods that don’t agree with me but the stuff that does, I find I can eat good, solid portions without grief.
I definitely feel hungry … despite how much or how often I eat. I get wicked hunger pains complete with audible noises! This afternoon I was interviewing a patient to the soundtrack of the Titanic - my stomach was carrying on like a naughty two year old having a tantrum! How many times can you say ‘Excuse me’ without it getting old?!
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I have started fussing over myself again. I had my bits and pieces waxed, plucked and trimmed. I went and got my hair coloured and cut. I’ve been going to the gym regularly. I’ve been taking a little time in the morning to put on some basic make up. All this time, effort and justification for forking out the cashola went out the window leading up to surgery. Mostly because I was working like a fiend for months prior to going to Belguim (6 days a week leaving me completely exhausted) and all available cash was being squirreled away to pay for surgery. But I also stopped putting in the effort because I had put on so much weight that I felt disgusted with myself. I must admit, I feel better for looking after myself.
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So, I am diligently saying my “Hail Mary”s and keeping numerous parts of my anatomy crossed in the hope that my (very first) fill will produce some obvious results. I am all about the instant gratification, folks! LOL! Here’s to being poked in the gut with a massive needle tomorrow! Ching ching!
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