Fill for nothing

I'm so over this.

I want out.

Believe me, I don't want to be obese for the rest of my life but honestly, this whole band thing is getting extremely tedious.

My fill has not resulted in any form of restriction. I could still eat a vast volume of food without feeling full if I chose to but I don't allow myself. I limit myself to the recommended meal size of one cup (yep! that's all folks!) ... as a result of this drastically reduced food intake (without adequate restriciton) I am in constant warfare with my gut. I am always hungry. My gut makes more noise than a brass band ... and it's really been upping the ante in the last couple of days.

This means that on Saturday, I'm dropping another 90 quid to get a second fill. I then start worrying .. what if this fill has no effect either? Or what if it's too tight and I can't manage to get/keep fluids or solids down? The doctor only does fills on Saturdays and I happen to be away travelling the weekend after next. Is if anything goes wrong I'm up shite creek without a paddle. Sigh.

To add to the drama, I'm meant to be having dinner with some girlfriends on Saturday night ... but if I get a fill on Saturday morning, I can't eat for another 5 days (read: 3 days! LOL!). So yet another social event where I will have to be a non-participant with all and sunder starting to think I have a poorly disguised eating disorder.