**Life**

It’s a 10 000 piece puzzle. It takes patience and time to put it together. It can make you want to tear your hair out with frustration. With effort and dedication, you start to see the emerging picture.

But as sod’s law would have it … it’s all coming together when you find you’re missing pieces and you’ve got a shite load of someone else’s. No matter how hard to try to force the two into your puzzle, it just won’t go together.

My puzzle was a masterpiece. I never believed what a wonderful life was in store for me. I had scored a well paying, highly respectable job in Oz. I had had a return appointment to the Middle East for private work that would pay outright for a car back home and allow me to resign from my London job earlier than planned to do some traveling before settling down in Oz. I had traveled. I had so much life experience under my belt. I had a wonderful partner. I could see us buying a house in Oz, getting our already named dog and marrying. And then it all went to hell in a substantially sized hand basket.

My relationship with the man I loved came to a very unfortunate end. It’s not something I want to discuss in such a public forum but suffice to say, it didn’t end because it wasn’t working or because we were no longer in love or happy. The last time I saw Rob was at an airport departure gate in Dubai on the 3rd December. We had kissed goodbye and knowing that in three weeks time we would see each other again to welcome in 2008 in London and then Prague. It never happened. I’m not sure what’s easier; ending a relationship that’s not working or one where there is still love. Either way, the ending bites. Some days I can't believe our relationship is over and others, I'm keenly aware of finality of it all. But, life goes on.

I had made a couple of fortunate decisions just prior to my life going terribly pear shaped. Firstly, my resignation for my London job was effective the day before I flew to Dubai to spend a week with Rob. This meant I didn’t have to juggle work and a shattered personal life when it all came down. I only had to deal with wrapping my UK life up and heading (translated: fleeing) back down under. The second fortunate decision was that I had formally accepted the job in Oz back in the September/October – well before the heartache began.

I left London earlier than planned and in a state I could never have imagined. I didn’t do the traveling I planned to do. I just needed to be home.

Now, nearly five months later life isn’t quite how I expected it to be but I’m happy enough. I have a fantastic job – it challenges me; although some days I do feel a little overwhelmed; although those days are getting fewer and further between. I have a great group of work mates. It feels like I’ve been working there for years

I have a brand new car which I owe nothing on.

The wheels - Scooby the Subaru

I have a fantastic townhouse – two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a walk-in robe and a lovely little out door living area. It’s a quiet & secure complex. It’s home. I am currently looking to buy my own place but at present house prices are ridiculous; which means I’m just going to have to wait it out for a bit. But the time will come; it’s just not now.

Home - my townhouse is the one up the back on the left

I have a wonderful group of friends. I have a very exhausting social life leaving me very few nights home and when I do I thank the good Lord for them. I am also involved in a charity group (St@rlight Foundation) raising funds for children with cancer. There really is nothing better than doing something for others to make you forget your own sorrows.

As for my weight, I haven’t spent a lot of time looking after myself physically recently. Is that such a surprise. Consequently, there is not a lot to report. My weight is relatively stable. I do have a follow up appointment next week with a bariatric surgeon here in Townsville for a review to determine whether to increase/decrease the volume of fluid in my band. Ideally, I’d love to lose 5kgs before my 30th birthday in the later part of June. I need to buckle down, make my body a priority.

After a night out - I'm slowly getting myself back on my feet

Speaking of priorities, I have made the decision to give myself a year to sort myself out physically, emotionally and financially before diving into the dating scene again. Deep down I know it’s all going to be okay but some days I have a passing sense of panic that my life has already been the best it’s going to be – that I’ve missed something or someone that I was meant to meet. But as a good friend of mine has said to me: “What is for you will not go by you”. I hope the universe is keenly aware of this otherwise I’m completely farked!