Another terror plot at Heathrow airport today. Makes me a little disappointed and jaded with the human race.
I worked a ridiculous number of hours today ... trying to prove to myself that I care about the human race even if 18 screwed up terrorists don't. I saw Jews. Muslims. Christians. And an aetheist today. Ultimately, we are all people. Human beings with same basic contents - skeleton, muscles, vital organs. We may be bought up in different countries, with different religions, different ideals but that doesn't make any one more right or wrong than the other. Sigh.
****
On a more smiley note, I did eat 3/4 of a slice of vegetable fritatta for lunch today. Only one episode of thinking it wasn't going to go down .. that was when I was working my way through a chunk of egg. Oh! And I had a latte (only 1/2 shot, of course!). Woohoo!
***
I have had some discomfort in my port site over the last couple of days. It's not pain. It's like when you get a stitch in your side from a lactic acid build up after running. I only seem to get it when I'm walking quite quickly carrying a lot of stuff. It temporarily eases when I sucked my gut in. It completely dissipates when I stop moving or when I sit or when I slow down and meander rather than race. I rang the doctor to check this was normal. He said it was and I could expect it for up to 8 or so weeks post op. He also said I could go back to yoga and pilates. Yesss!
***
So, I'm off to Edinburgh. Talk amongst yourselves people 'til I return!
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Surge and the cargo pant monster
Oh. My. God. What's the deal with Waterloo train station (London)? It was 5:30pm and my friend had suggested meeting at said train station. No wuckers! 4 stops from work .. dead easy place to meet. Ha! After elbowing my way out of the underground, I arrived at the overland train station. I got swept up in the surging sea of humanity. Honestly, if you stopped still for as much as a nanosecond you'd be obliterated ... at the very least someone would let fly a string of profanities at you. It was overwhelming. I wanted to lie down and curl up into a foetal position (if I wasn't so scared of being stampeded!). It was completely insane. How can so many bloody people fit into one relatively small place.
I got there a little early and took the opportunity to peel off and find safety near a pillar. Oh! A little time to indulge one of my favourite past times ... people watching! Ever done it? It's soooo fascinating! Tall people. Short people. Skinny people. Fat people. People with immaculate dress sense but unfortunate faces. Others who really shouldn't have been allowed out their front door in the ensemble they were strutting around in. Old shoes. New shoes. Obviously expensive shoes. Pink hair. No hair. Facial hair (was that a chick or a bloke?!).
I spotted my mate. We stoically fought out way out of the station - against the flow. Oh! Brilliant move, bright sparks! We made our way down to the river and found a little Italian restaurant. I immediately made a move for the menu and studied it. Hmm. Soup. Fish. Risotto. Likely to be suitable. Chicken. Pasta. Pizza. Hmph! I so know I'll have dilemmas with that (especially as I'm still meant to be on soft food). Thinking. Thinking. Thinking food. Thinking, I should tell my mate I'm not going to eat much. Thinking.
"Hey, I still really don't have a huge appetite since my op."
"Don't worry .. you're sitting next to a human waste disposal!" Ah, bless!
I ordered risotto. My mate ordered chicken with a variety of vegetables. I sipped tiny sips of water literally up until our meals were served. Once again, I had the experience of my mate well and truly finishing his meal before I had even put a dent in mine! I saw him giving my risotto the hairy eyeball. The bloody stuff was getting cold faster than I could eat it. After a small burp, I figured I must be full - no definite hard stop sign but better to quit while I was ahead. My mate polished off the remainders in no more than 9 heaped spoonfuls!
We sat soaking up the last of day's rays and talked about life. A dessert menu appeared on the table. "Up for it?", my mate asked. "I might've lost my appetite but not my dessert reservoir!". I ordered a delicious, creamy panacotta. Bellisima! Very nicely satiated .. we wondered back down the river to the station.
***
People can be so mean without ever opening their mouthes (myself included). I watched this very large girl board the train dressed in exercise clothes brandishing a brochure from a local gym. She fought her way to an empty seat and forced her bulk into it. To be polite she squashed her body well and truly into the partition to her right to ensure she wasn't encroaching on the space of the person beside her. I watched as people stared at her. I watched as people looked at the brochure she was studying and then at her. You could read their minds. I wanted to yell, "At least she's trying to do something about it, you oafs!". I refrained. It probably would've been seen as a little anti-social and attention grabbing. But at the same time, I was a bit of a hypocrite. I looked at her majestic mountain of flesh ... her overflowing apron tummy and cringed. I felt sick. I felt for her. I felt for me. That could very well have been me one day.
We both disembarked at the same station. I trotted up the stairs. I could hear her huffing and puffing behind me after only three stairs. I was so wrapped up thinking about this woman I've never met that my face was nearly gobbled by a cargo-panted monster! Yup! My face nearly ended up in a woman's bot-bot as she stopped to answer her mobile. Don't you hate that!
Obesity.
It's bloody everywhere.
It destroys people's lives .. their self esteem, their health, their relationships.
Dear God ... please let this band help me.
I got there a little early and took the opportunity to peel off and find safety near a pillar. Oh! A little time to indulge one of my favourite past times ... people watching! Ever done it? It's soooo fascinating! Tall people. Short people. Skinny people. Fat people. People with immaculate dress sense but unfortunate faces. Others who really shouldn't have been allowed out their front door in the ensemble they were strutting around in. Old shoes. New shoes. Obviously expensive shoes. Pink hair. No hair. Facial hair (was that a chick or a bloke?!).
I spotted my mate. We stoically fought out way out of the station - against the flow. Oh! Brilliant move, bright sparks! We made our way down to the river and found a little Italian restaurant. I immediately made a move for the menu and studied it. Hmm. Soup. Fish. Risotto. Likely to be suitable. Chicken. Pasta. Pizza. Hmph! I so know I'll have dilemmas with that (especially as I'm still meant to be on soft food). Thinking. Thinking. Thinking food. Thinking, I should tell my mate I'm not going to eat much. Thinking.
"Hey, I still really don't have a huge appetite since my op."
"Don't worry .. you're sitting next to a human waste disposal!" Ah, bless!
I ordered risotto. My mate ordered chicken with a variety of vegetables. I sipped tiny sips of water literally up until our meals were served. Once again, I had the experience of my mate well and truly finishing his meal before I had even put a dent in mine! I saw him giving my risotto the hairy eyeball. The bloody stuff was getting cold faster than I could eat it. After a small burp, I figured I must be full - no definite hard stop sign but better to quit while I was ahead. My mate polished off the remainders in no more than 9 heaped spoonfuls!
We sat soaking up the last of day's rays and talked about life. A dessert menu appeared on the table. "Up for it?", my mate asked. "I might've lost my appetite but not my dessert reservoir!". I ordered a delicious, creamy panacotta. Bellisima! Very nicely satiated .. we wondered back down the river to the station.
***
People can be so mean without ever opening their mouthes (myself included). I watched this very large girl board the train dressed in exercise clothes brandishing a brochure from a local gym. She fought her way to an empty seat and forced her bulk into it. To be polite she squashed her body well and truly into the partition to her right to ensure she wasn't encroaching on the space of the person beside her. I watched as people stared at her. I watched as people looked at the brochure she was studying and then at her. You could read their minds. I wanted to yell, "At least she's trying to do something about it, you oafs!". I refrained. It probably would've been seen as a little anti-social and attention grabbing. But at the same time, I was a bit of a hypocrite. I looked at her majestic mountain of flesh ... her overflowing apron tummy and cringed. I felt sick. I felt for her. I felt for me. That could very well have been me one day.
We both disembarked at the same station. I trotted up the stairs. I could hear her huffing and puffing behind me after only three stairs. I was so wrapped up thinking about this woman I've never met that my face was nearly gobbled by a cargo-panted monster! Yup! My face nearly ended up in a woman's bot-bot as she stopped to answer her mobile. Don't you hate that!
Obesity.
It's bloody everywhere.
It destroys people's lives .. their self esteem, their health, their relationships.
Dear God ... please let this band help me.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Cover me, comrades ... I'm going in!
If I needed a blood transfusion this very minute ... emergency services would need to hot tail it to C*sta Coffee and demand 3 lts of hot chocolate STAT. Yup! I've drunk so much hot chocolate today that I have pure liquid chocolate running through my veins! I kind of feel like I've been on a SlimF*st liquid diet today ... oh, stop it! Hot chocolate with a 1/2 inch sludge of chocolate in the bottom is so the same as what's in a can of SlimF*st! *Smiles*
***
As predicted, my coffee soiree with my friends (yes! the lovely, the sexy S joined us! Absolute pleasure doing business with you, darling! LOL!) turned into dinner. Trying to decide on a place to eat without banging on about needing soft food wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. We spotted an Indian restaurant. We peered at the menu outside the restaurant. A quick scan and I thought, "Gawd! This is going to be awful!". My first restaurant experience with mates and I was sharing it with one who knew about my weight loss surgery and the other who didn't. I stood at the front door, took a big breath and muttered to my imaginary army, "Cover me, comrades .. I'm going in!". Once seated, I studied the menu with the intensity of a devoted scholar. Gawd! Chunks of meat. Rice. Naan bread. Soft food wherefore art thou? Oh! There you are .. in the vegetarian section. How exciting. I chose aubergine in a yoghurt curry sauce and a glass of water (so as not to look like an anti-social knob!).
When the papadums arrived to start the meal, I looked lovingly at them for 5 minutes ... then, when I couldn't resist anymore, I nibbled on a portion of papadum .. thoughtfully chewing it into a disgusting paste. Sip of water - it was oh, so small but pastey papadum does need to be washed down I discovered. Dinner arrived.
I still can't believe that in the time it took me to eat 9 chunks of aubergine (no skin), my mates polished off their curry, side dish and bread. It's just such a weird experience. Totally foreign. Totally bizarre. It's all about mindful eating .. tuning in with your body. After the said 9 chunks of aubergine, I felt comfortably full. Don't get me wrong. I could've kept eating. But I wasn't hungry and I wasn't stuffed. For shame, I did order some sorbet but only got 3/4 through the first of two scoops and really had to call it a night.
***
Since eating dinner, I have had some fabulously fiesty gas and tummy pain (lower abdomen) .. kinda like period pain. It's too soon after eating for it to have been caused by the food but man! Am I generating some natural gas or what! Sorry, you were eating?!
***
As predicted, my coffee soiree with my friends (yes! the lovely, the sexy S joined us! Absolute pleasure doing business with you, darling! LOL!) turned into dinner. Trying to decide on a place to eat without banging on about needing soft food wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. We spotted an Indian restaurant. We peered at the menu outside the restaurant. A quick scan and I thought, "Gawd! This is going to be awful!". My first restaurant experience with mates and I was sharing it with one who knew about my weight loss surgery and the other who didn't. I stood at the front door, took a big breath and muttered to my imaginary army, "Cover me, comrades .. I'm going in!". Once seated, I studied the menu with the intensity of a devoted scholar. Gawd! Chunks of meat. Rice. Naan bread. Soft food wherefore art thou? Oh! There you are .. in the vegetarian section. How exciting. I chose aubergine in a yoghurt curry sauce and a glass of water (so as not to look like an anti-social knob!).
When the papadums arrived to start the meal, I looked lovingly at them for 5 minutes ... then, when I couldn't resist anymore, I nibbled on a portion of papadum .. thoughtfully chewing it into a disgusting paste. Sip of water - it was oh, so small but pastey papadum does need to be washed down I discovered. Dinner arrived.
I still can't believe that in the time it took me to eat 9 chunks of aubergine (no skin), my mates polished off their curry, side dish and bread. It's just such a weird experience. Totally foreign. Totally bizarre. It's all about mindful eating .. tuning in with your body. After the said 9 chunks of aubergine, I felt comfortably full. Don't get me wrong. I could've kept eating. But I wasn't hungry and I wasn't stuffed. For shame, I did order some sorbet but only got 3/4 through the first of two scoops and really had to call it a night.
***
Since eating dinner, I have had some fabulously fiesty gas and tummy pain (lower abdomen) .. kinda like period pain. It's too soon after eating for it to have been caused by the food but man! Am I generating some natural gas or what! Sorry, you were eating?!
Monday, August 07, 2006
Sigh.
I started my new job today. It's right up my alley. I love doing consulting work for hospitals rather than being stuck in one place. Love it! But I think it's going to start a turf war or two with staff members from other hospitals. Tough crowd, man. One particular staff memeber eye balled me and made it very clear that she did not want me there. Cough. Cough. Ah, excuse me, madam ... could you please remove your stiletto heel from my foot. It kinda hurts. Sigh. I guess giving up roles that have typically been yours until this scruffy looking woman arrives wearing flip flops and a smile announcing she's about to do part of your job, is never going to go down without a fight. You wanna fight?! Fine! Meet you out back ... if I'm not there in 10 .. start without me.
***
How 'bout that sparrow's diet I did today:
***
How 'bout that sparrow's diet I did today:
- Protein shake (25oml milk)
- Cup of hot chocolate
- 2 baby bell cheese wheels
- 1 mouth mint
- 1 cup mashed veggies
What's that about?! *faints*
***
I miss my man. I miss eating. I miss the gym (yeah, shock horror!).
Sigh.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Chewing vs inhaling
So, I tried to eat a little chicken yesterday. I was so looking forward to it. Wee bite sized pieces of marinated chicken breast. I know I really should've pureed it ... but I figured my mouth is a built in blender, so why spend 2 minutes doing something with an appliance that I can do with my mouth! Uber uber big mistake!
First slice (less than thumb size), I chewed and chewed (25 times .. yes, I actually counted!). It was kinda disgusting. Sooo sloppy you can barely believe you're going to swallow it! And taste? Well, after 25 chews it was the equivalent of chewing gum that's lost it's taste. But it went down without incident. Just as I popped the next slice into my mouth, I was slightly distracted by my malfunctioning washing machine. I have no idea how many times I chewed but I'm guessing it was probably less than 5. I swallowed without thinking. Almost instantaneously, I got a pain in my chest - just between my boobs. Oh. My. Gawd. It bloomin' hurt! The kind of hurt that brings tears to your eyes. The pain passed 30 seconds later.
I realise I have a lot to re-learn about eating. Put simply .. I need to learn to chew versus inhaling! Attend to my food when eating rather than mindlessly stuffing my face. Hopefully I will only be as thick as to require minimal uncomfortable experiences to learn. Gawd, I hope so!
Today, I visited my favourite Italian restaurant. I thought while I was in town I might treat myself to a bowl of soup for lunch. This whole eating out thing with friends is going to be bizarre! I mean, today for example, in the time it took me to eat 1/2 bowl of soup, the women sitting beside me had polished off a glass of wine, 2 glasses of water and a bowl of pasta each! Previously, I would've beaten them hands down (twice!) had I been eating the same thing they'd ordered let alone a measley bowl of soup!
After 1/2 bowl of soup, I was content. Not stuffed. Not hungry. Just nice. This feeling was followed up by a small burp (which apparently is a 'soft' sign that you're full ... if you ignore this and keep eating, you could cause yourself to puke).
You know what the best part was?! When the bill came it only cost me 5 GBP! That was for soup and a bottle of water (which I stashed in my bag after only taking two sips during lunch). My bill used to be around 18 GBP before I had the band! This funky little thing is going to pay for itself just by slashing my grocery and eating out bills!
First slice (less than thumb size), I chewed and chewed (25 times .. yes, I actually counted!). It was kinda disgusting. Sooo sloppy you can barely believe you're going to swallow it! And taste? Well, after 25 chews it was the equivalent of chewing gum that's lost it's taste. But it went down without incident. Just as I popped the next slice into my mouth, I was slightly distracted by my malfunctioning washing machine. I have no idea how many times I chewed but I'm guessing it was probably less than 5. I swallowed without thinking. Almost instantaneously, I got a pain in my chest - just between my boobs. Oh. My. Gawd. It bloomin' hurt! The kind of hurt that brings tears to your eyes. The pain passed 30 seconds later.
I realise I have a lot to re-learn about eating. Put simply .. I need to learn to chew versus inhaling! Attend to my food when eating rather than mindlessly stuffing my face. Hopefully I will only be as thick as to require minimal uncomfortable experiences to learn. Gawd, I hope so!
Today, I visited my favourite Italian restaurant. I thought while I was in town I might treat myself to a bowl of soup for lunch. This whole eating out thing with friends is going to be bizarre! I mean, today for example, in the time it took me to eat 1/2 bowl of soup, the women sitting beside me had polished off a glass of wine, 2 glasses of water and a bowl of pasta each! Previously, I would've beaten them hands down (twice!) had I been eating the same thing they'd ordered let alone a measley bowl of soup!
After 1/2 bowl of soup, I was content. Not stuffed. Not hungry. Just nice. This feeling was followed up by a small burp (which apparently is a 'soft' sign that you're full ... if you ignore this and keep eating, you could cause yourself to puke).
You know what the best part was?! When the bill came it only cost me 5 GBP! That was for soup and a bottle of water (which I stashed in my bag after only taking two sips during lunch). My bill used to be around 18 GBP before I had the band! This funky little thing is going to pay for itself just by slashing my grocery and eating out bills!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)