That's such a pain in the port!

Yesterday I had some pain in my port area. The feeling was similar to when I first had surgery. The only thing I can think of that could've caused the pain is that for 1/2 the day yesterday, I was sitting down at a desk .. the top of my trousers were pressing (digging into!) on my port incision. At the time I didn't think anything of it but it could've very well aggrevated it. I didn't eat or drink much either (I know ... tut tut!) but I can't see how that would affect my port. It's rather odd. I mean, I do 4 1/2 days of physical work with absolutely no problems. I then sit at a desk for 4 hours and feel impossibly uncomfortable later in the evening. After a good night's sleep, the pain has largely subsided. Still a little niggly today but not horrific (I think a couple of my stitches are also trying to make their way to the skin surface).

After working 7 days out of 8, my body is soooo ready for a rest tomorrow! I'm predicting a ridiculously looong sleep in tomorrow .. I think I'll be lucky to even get out of my pj's to be honest! LOL!

Isn't it ironic

Isn't it ironic that ....

Whenever you start a diet ... blocks of chocolate are on sale at the supermarket.

and ....

whenever you have a grand plan to start exercising "on Monday" ... you end up being the biggest social butterfly. I sometimes feel I must send telepathic messages to all my mates about my impending exercise kick. I'm sure it's something along the lines of: "Hey! I'm planning on going on a kick arse exercise stint next week ... please save me from myself and invite me out somewhere that I can't possibly say no to!".

Yup! This week is a little social fest for me. I'm meeting a friend for coffee Tuesday evening (which won't give away my game) but is likely to turn into dinner (hmmm! how do you get around the fact that normally when you meet this particular friend you end up going to a gourmet burger kitchen?!). Wednesday evening I'm meeting another friend for dinner. He knows I've had surgery (but not what) and is happy to go somewhere where I can get a bowl of soup (lucky, lucky me!). On Friday morning, I am heading to Edinburgh (for three days) for the Ed!nburgh Milit*ry Tatt*o. I'm soooo excited! But I'm a bit concerned about travelling and the mushie diet thing. I think I'm going to have to have a little bit of a game plan. I guess it won't hurt to take my protein powder (as I normally only have a protein shake for breakfast at the moment anyway), some pack cup-a-soups and pureed fruit. I'm just going to have to find a wee cafe or restaurant to eat soup twice a day! Gawd! I hope they serve more than one variety! LOL!

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I'm still not very hungry. I get times where I know for sure I'm hungry and have something to eat but I'm not stuck on it. I'm not really fussed by food to be honest. There has been an enormous amount of goodies at work this week and I haven't even felt tempted. I mean, I watched a work colleague eat a Cornetto (ice cream) today and didn't even feel slightly moved (normally I would think "Geez, that looks good ... I gotta get me one of 'em!"). Even the warm, wafting smells of fast food stores don't excite me. It's a bloody nice experience let me tell you!

Working 9-5

Woohoo! Back to working a full day without experiecing a massive blood sugar crash at 4pm. Monday through to Wednesday I had to cut my hours down (only by half an hour) due to feeling light headed and exhausted. Today though, I worked 8 hours. I'm starting to feel like I'm getting my energy back - I'm not as wiped out as I was even two days ago (I did have a 20 minute nap when I got home but that is totaly beside the point!).

I am now able to lay on my left side most of the night now without any pain or niggling (I have had some left hip/back pain for the last two days but I think it's related to my horrific back condition rather than anything to do with the surgery). I can roll over without bracing my stomach with a pillow. And can get in & out of bed without having to plan it. And I can lay on my stomach again. Annnnd .. I can run for the bus! Yup! I ran for the bus this afternoon without even thinking ... by the time I did think about what I'd done, I realised I'd had no pain or discomfort. I can feel a rendezvous with the gym coming on!

Speaking of a rendezvous ... I have a date for my first band fill. Pencil the 2nd September into your diaries, kiddies ... that's when I'll be getting a whopping great needle poked into (& digging around in!) my gut to put the first lot of saline fluid into the band port. Aaaaaw ... I soooo hate needles. I begin to feel faint at the very sight of them! *pulls a face*

*Runs in smiling* Guess what!

Yeh-huh! That's right amigos! 4 kilos ... 8.8lbs (for my international buddies!) in 2 weeks! (It seems muuuuch longer than that though, believe me!).

I'm so excited! And relieved ... I know they say that the first 6 weeks is all about your body healing itself and any weight loss during this period (prior to your first band fill) is a bonus but I KNOW I would've been devastated had I not lost an ounce.

I am now back in what some bandsters call "One-derland" (a weight starting with 100 if you happen to be weighing yourself using pounds) and almost back into the 80's (kgs) which is where I normally reside. I haven't been over 89 kgs since I was studying at university some 9 years ago ... I think I took the whole idea of "Last suppers" prior to my op a little too literal! I ate waaaaay too much in the months between deciding and having surgery and now have to do some bloody hard work to shave off those gluttonous and unnecessary kilos. Sigh.

Something about the shakes and a chicken

What happens when you consume a glass of milk (with protein powder), a glass of lucozade, 1/2 cup of tomato soup and 2 tablespoons of apple puree? Well, my friends, I'm glad you asked! You get wicked shakes! Yup. I got the shakes really bad yesterday afternoon. It was 4:15pm. I had been working since 8:45am. The only things I had eaten or drunk were the meagre morsels above during 9 1/2 hours. At first, I felt my vision was a little blurred, I felt faint and then the shakes begun. I physically could not stop them. A quick thinking colleague grabbed some chocolate which I sucked the living soul outta! It took every ounce of concentration and might to finish my patient documentation in a legible scrawl. IThe whole experience was actually quite alarming. It's like nothing you've experienced before. You feel so dazed. Unable to think or move. It's a minor version of being comatosed. I felt like I was having an out of body experience of trying to run underwater ... everything just seemed to slow to a crawl. Sooo, kiddies, when eating like a sparrow, have some glucose tablets on hand or eat/drink SOMETHING every hour or two!

I feel fine today. Just ensured I had more goodies with me at work to keep topping up. The funny thing being back at work is that my hunger has returned! Part physical but mostly head hunger, I think! I haven't been feeling that hungry since surgery ... I mean the feeling passes in waves but it's never unbearable. I get back to work and after one measley hour my gut is making enough noise to rival a brass band! It felt like my throat was cut! Of course, when it came time to eat ... I really couldn't eat a lot. Work is associated with eating - there is ALWAYS chocolate, chips, cake, biscuits and other assorted goodies to celebrate birthdays, imminent departures, promotions, marriages, babies, thank you's plus an asortment of other excuses to be able to eat! And while I'm on the subject of food at work, why is it that when people leave hospital they always want to leave massive tins/boxes of chocolates for the staff?! What's that about?!

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I was flicking through the paper this morning on the tube ride to work and lo and behold, there was an ad for gastric banding. It was a kinda sign. An affirmation that I'd done the right thing. (Yeah ... at this point I'm still needing affirmation that I HAVE done the right thing! The positive proof of my decision is still has to be seen in first person) The three women in the ad were posing in that usual poxy, "I've lost a shite load of weight" way (with the dreaded before picture in miniature form) ... I mean, I've never seen people pose like this in real life. But hey, they looked good. The total losses were: 6, 7 & 12 stone. I'd love to know how long it took them to lose the weight and what hurdles and obstacles they encountered. I'm the proverbial curious cat - wish I had the nine lives to match. On the topic of weight loss, I chickened out today and didn't weigh myself. I lay in bed last night thinking "I don't think I've lost much (IF ANY!) weight ... why go embarass and depress myself". It worked. I couldn't bring myself to step on the scales today. I do really need to work on my internal dialogue .. I think it's been partly to blame for my past weight loss failures because I believe it. Sigh. I'm going to stride down to Boot's tomorrow and own that scale, dammit!